also i was looking through the new releases on their website and can i just comment on how the intouchables has the worst name ever for a movie about a race-transcending friendship between an old paralyzed french guy and a young able-bodied senegalese one? that’s a title reserved for a b-level marvel comics superhero movie from the early 2000s about a group of neurotic average joes with various social dysfunctions who somehow exploit them to become superheroes who refuse to wear spandex due to their asperger’s. instead they wear loose fitting bootcut jeans and capes. at the end of the movie they come to terms with their anxieties and disabilities through a highly metaphorical battle against their type-A outgoing talk show host of a villain on a crowded F train. or it could be an m. night shamalyan movie. i mean, if he hasn’t already named a movie that. the twist at the end is that they were both paralyzed the whole time. they were both intouchable all along!
and why are the only new releases at jacob burns either for or about old people anyway? i guess indie distributors realized the real money comes from people’s retirement funds. who knew that aged people wanted to spend their last few blissful stress-free years watching movies about unrealistically attractive yet dying AARP members. on second thought, that does make sense.
(this is me trying out my new highly observational, highly unfunny “bit” on you about movies. it’s the result of me working for a comedy department all day.)
this was part of an email i sent to my film professor today. i was trying really, really hard. betcha can’t tell, can you?