Has anyone else ever seen these pictures of Jerry Seinfeld or am I slowly losing my mind to the infinite void of Bee Movie?
Recently, a friend said to me, “Hey, George, if a space alien beamed you up to his ship and demanded that you explain what being human is like, what would you say?”
"Well," I said, "I’d advise the alien to spend a few days reading short stories." Short stories are the deep, encoded crystallizations of all human knowledge. They are rarefied, dense meaning machines, shedding light on the most pressing of life’s dilemmas. By reading a thoughtfully selected set of them, our alien could, in a few hours, learn everything he needs to know about the way we live. Except how it feels to lose one’s car in a parking garage and walk around for like three hours, trying to look as if you know where you’re going, so the people driving by—who have easily found their cars, having written the location on their wrists or something—don’t think badly of you. I don’t think there’s a short story about that yet.
"Let’s say you had a reputation as being someone who does lots of parodies. Then they know, oh he’s just making fun of Starbucks."
Today I took a walk around my neighborhood and on my way back home I saw this very tanned, middle aged guy sitting in his parked car with the door open blasting “She Blinded Me With Science” and that was easily the highlight of my day